Moodle in Niedersachsen

“…many women make their dating and relationship life much harder than it has to be by driving themselves crazy over things that won’t affect a man’s opinion of and level of attraction for her”

This quote is from “What Men Actually Care About in Dating”, a recent piece attempting to alleviate some of the unnecessary dating, relationship, and aesthetic pressures women occasionally put on themselves.

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But, while there are definitely many things that don’t matter to us as much as women think they do, there are actually a few things about women we care about much more than most of them realize.

Here’s 6 of them

1. Your girlfriends

The importance of a woman’s close friends doesn’t lie in the “ok, which one of them will let me hit if this relationship doesn’t work out” sense, but the “hmmm. her homegirls all seem to be scandalous sluts from planet scalawag. maybe she’s not who i thought she was” sense.

Put it this way, if you’re single and your crew includes someone who’s legally barred from saying her baby’s name in public, maybe its time to accidentally defriend her from your lifespace.

2. Coital cheerfulness/libido

While sack expertise is always a good thing, that doesn’t matter as much as your enthusiasm and willingness to actually perform. Obviously, we don’t expect you to be perpetually salivating at the thought of our wangs (although, anything can you do involving saliva and our wangs is a good thing), but even if you give superhead level bj’s, we’ll eventually tire of it (and you) if you act like having sex is a chore that needs to be x’d out of your daily to-do list. An animated and excited but awkward lay is always better than a technically proficient but tepid one.  

3. Your ex-boyfriends/taste in men

Like it or not, (many, if not most) men are pretty harsh judges when it comes to the types of guys a woman claims to be attracted to, and the type of men she dated before meeting him. While you may think that your street pharmacist dating phase was just an immature and efficient way to get free lakers tickets and lacefronts while replenishing the street cred you lost when you went to sarah lawrence, most men aren’t exactly going to line up to date the woman who used to bone avon barksdale.

4. Your hair

I know you all already know that men care about women’s hair, but i’m not sure if most women realize just how cavernous and complex that concern is. We’re usually drawn and attracted to certain “types”, and the way a woman wears her hair make a huge difference in how she’s initially regarded, and this affects whether we decide to approach.

And, when a woman in a relationship drastically changes her hair, it subconsciously makes us question her level of investment in the coupling. its the same uneasiness many (if not most) women would feel if the lawyer she’s dating all of a sudden decided to quit practicing law to teach yoga. sure, in theory he’s still the exact same guy. but, making such a stark change would make anyone question exactly where this person’s head is, and whether he cares enough about what you think to be able to trust him in a long-term relationship.

5. Your ability to appreciate humor

You don’t have to be tina fey or angela nissel. Damn, you don’t even have to be the chick from the progressive commericals. just don’t always be the walrus turd in the punchbowl, and you’re good.

6. Your brain

Although history is full of smart men procreating with imbeciles with intriguing butt-to-waist ratios, men don’t respect dumb-*ss women. In fact, despite the common perception, most men would actually prefer being with a woman a little bit smarter than him. obviously, intelligence is somewhat relative. To a west virginian, a woman who spells her baby’s name correctly on her neck tattoo might as well be an astronaut. But, her actual level of intelligence usually doesnt matter, as long as it’s equal to or higher than ours (word to Howie Gardner)

Guys, did i miss anything? also, ladies, is there anything about men that you care about much more than we think you do?